Looks like this guy keeps a can of fanny freshener handy for emergencies.  I bet he wrote the following tips on “how to pick up chicks”:-

How to Pick up Chicks 101

1. Hang out in Walmart with an empty trolley

2. Push it around the feminine hygiene section

3. When you see a girl on her own, ask her “Hey, didn’t I see you in Walmart the other day?”

4. Ask her out for drinks and tell her “there’s nothing to do around here, we should hang out, I’m lonely.”

—- fool proof —–

Yes this did happen to me.. and after much deliberation with some American friends we have decided that I have a mental condition which means I am UNABLE to differentiate between a crazy American and a normal American. To me - all Americans are good, and appropriate fodder for friendship and conversation.. hence me being propositioned in Walmart with a boxful of tampons and fanny freshener in my hand.

After some more deliberation I would like to put it forth that I actually have a very limited ability to differentiate between a crazy an non crazy Australian too. This explains a lot in my life.

Women and chocolate fit together like Piglet and Pooh, so who wouldn’t turn down the chance to languish luxuriously in a tub of soft, melted chocolate?

Well, I for one wouldn’t do it, but I bet it would appeal to the chocoholics amongst us.  Did you know that you can make your own chocolate bubble bath and even your own chocolate bath gels?  Quite good alternatives if you can’t get hold of enough melted chocolate.  But be careful not to ingest it, no matter how yummy an aroma it gives off.

Treat Yourself to the Luxury of Chocolate Bath Gels:-

On the dinner table, in clothing, and now in the bathtub. Is there anywhere chocolate can’t make a contribution?

The idea of chocolate bath gels may sound a little odd, but think about it—if you’ve haunted these electronic halls long, you probably know by now that chocolate makes great soap, due to its high fat content. It’s not such a big step from there to bath gels, is it?

You can purchase these gels in a variety of forms from several manufacturers, and all of them offer the sinfully sensuous suite of sensations that only chocolate can provide. But you don’t have to buy it ready-made—you can make it yourself, and it’s easier than you might think. [via extremechocolate.com.]

Check out Christopher Leach’s new great site featuring more from his alter ego Jojo, “a beautiful decadent mistress who shapes inspires knows no boundaries, whispers delicious lies and plays wicked games with both sexuality and desire”.

I see myself as a hedonistic fetishist as opposed to being someone whose gay or even bisexual, so I’m all in favour of imaginative sex and sexual freedom and when I’m Jojo I can even enjoy gay company and feel some sense of belonging without feeling awkward about it. It is a world that I don’t encounter as Christopher and I guess it makes me very lucky being able to step in and out of separate lives. Sadly Jojo isn’t so active these days because having a fetish is one thing but one really literally needs to enjoy opening up to the gay world to become that true sexual complete Jojo fetish. In some ways I’m sorry I’m not more gay as I might have discovered Jojo earlier and become a proper transsexual. [via loveisblind.canalblog.com].

I bet you’ve never seen a naked cowgirl quite like this before.  Here’s some basic instruction on the cowgirl sexual position:-

You lean back with your shoulders against the foot of the bed and your feet on the floor, supporting the bulk of your weight. She straddles your midsection and uses her legs to thrust. Even if she’s never been the jockey type, she’ll have a hard time resisting this invitation to ride. Not only does she control the angle, speed, depth, and rhythm of the thrusts, but because she supports her own weight, she also has complete freedom of movement. One caution: Some women get weak in the knees during orgasm, so brace yourself for a little extra weight once she peaks. After you master this, try the reverse cowgirl. 

So I took a nice hot bubble bath to spend some quality time with myself.

It got boring after a while and I got all horny thinking some xxx rated things so I grabbed my new glass dildo for some solo fun.

Mmmmm it felt so good, I have to tell you.

I could really feel those ridges against my G-spot and I came so fast! [via hardcore-mandy.com].

This one’s for you nymph!

My man loves me to pee on him - it’s something fairly new in our relationship and I find it quite difficult to relax and let it all flow out.  I usually only manage to get about half of it out, no matter how much I’ve drunk beforehand. 

We could do with some proper rubber sheets though - we end up making a bit of a mess of the bed if we don’t put thick enough towels down!

i find the sexiest is when my woman either straddles my face or spreads her legs, and then: if straddling my face, she just presses her urethral mound against my lips and commands me to open up, then firmly presses her pussy to my lips to make sure i have no choice but to swallow it all.

or

if laying on her back, she makes me move my head to her pussy and open her labia then tells me to open up and grabs my head and presses it to her urethral mound tight, again to make sure that it can only go down my throat.
usually this is either after her not going all night long or first thing in the morning,
and the second she begins to spray her pee in my mouth it’s like it becomes the only thing i want and need at that moment…
my throat actually starts swallowing on it’s own and i can’t stop until she’s absolutely drained.  [more via downonmyknees.com].

Wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of this sizable sister!

Makes my mouth go dry just thinking about this one.

Fantastic artwork though, but I just can’t imagine allowing someone to do this to me - such a painful procedure given how sensitive the tongue is.  Yuk!

Although tattoos have been popular in the past, a new trend is rapidly spreading across the world of tattoos. This is known as “tongue tattoos”.

Designs, which are the most popular for tongue tattoos, are stars, tribal art, and other shapes, which cover a particular vicinity of the tongue. For those that choose to have a star tattoo the area near the tip of the tongue is the most popular location. Tattoos can also be located towards the middle of the tongue region. As the art of tongue tattooing becomes more popular, more designs will be introduced. [via associatedcontent.com]

How to get the best use out of your top loader!

Whilst I appreciate that we can experience some great vibrations by leaning our crotch against the washing machine on a full spin cycle, I think this is taking it all a bit far.  I wonder if she spins around on it too?  She’d better get a grip!

Once you’re going at it, turn on the machine. The vibrations will feel delicious against your bare body. And every time the machine changes cycles, you’ll experience a different sensation. “In addition to the shaking, the surface of the washer will create a scintillating heat from below,” says Williams. [via webescape.wordpress.com].

Hallelujah!

I’m gonna go out to run
and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It’s Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean.

Although more properly called urolagnia, most people refer to this particular realm of sexual kink as “golden showers”. As the name implies, the most common form such play takes is for one partner to urinate in such a way that the other partner can see and or feel the “golden shower” of urine.

Interestingly enough, many people regard golden showers as one of the most taboo of sexual acts, second only to sex play that specifically revolves around feces. That is, they find it even kinkier and “dirtier” than bondage, rape fantasies, cum swallowing, and/or sticking a vibrating dildo up a loved one’s butt.

Given the fact that urinating is a wholly natural and necessary activity (i.e. not the product of vice or perversion) and the fact that urine itself is virtually sterile, this seems like a rather bizarre attitude. Of course most people don’t realize just how clean the urine of a healthy individual really is (see Pissing). Add to this the fact that most people were raised to believe you shouldn’t look at another person when they are peeing—because you would either see or at least imagine their naked genitals. [via rotten.com].

I stumbled across this innocently suggestive video clip.
Should make you chuckle.

.......... a many splendored thing.

Ada’s wonderful tongue started its journey at her clit where it went in several sweet circles. It wandered down Dana’s wet slit where it stroked the pink flesh up and down several times teasing and tasting. It slid across her perenium then ran across her asshole and stabbed itself into the yielding flesh repeatedly.

Dana loved having her ass licked. She liked it even more when she was giving. She liked it the best though when in a sixty-nine and both could devour that most taboo of erotic areas. [full story via literotica.com]

How much can a bare bear bear?

Just a bit of fun, and so cute!

I should say so!

But it looks like this lady is mighty accommodating - I could learn a thing or two from her I imagine!

He took his fingers out and started to massage my asshole. It was so hot! I tensed at first because I was scared, but then I felt his fingers slide right in. “Oh God!” I screamed. It was the most intense feeling ever. He was sliding his fingers in and out of my ass so deep. He pulled the fingers out and I felt his cock head press against me. Now, I was really scared but at the same time crazy for him. He grabbed my hips and plunged deep into me. I screamed like I never have before as he pumped me against the railing. His cock felt huge! There was no pain only pleasure as he fucked my ass. [full article via truedirtystories.com]

In case of fall-out, put it back in and take shorter strokes.

It’s so alien for us girls to fnck with a cock - we have real trouble with the coordination and getting the rhythm right takes years of practice.  See for yourself:-