DEFINITELY NOT AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION

Posted by Shy Lily | Filed under Kinky,

To Whomever Finds This Letter On My Desk:

Yep. That’s my body hanging up there by the noose. And if you look up at me, right now, you’ll see that my eyes have opened and I’m staring down at you!

(Boo!)

Just kidding! I’m really dead! So, with that out of the way, let’s get down to business. MadAtoms

As to why I’m wearing a blonde wig, mascara, a whole bunch of lipstick, leather chaps, high heels, a diamond necklace, high school class rings on every finger, a pink feather boa, painted toenails, a tiara and two large black dildos stuck firmly in my anal cavity? That’s just me being eccentric. If Crispin Glover can get away with it, why can’t I?

Oh, one more thing. You’ve probably noticed by now that I’ve (probably) ejaculated all over the ground. (If you haven’t noticed that yet, watch your step!) Well, let’s just chalk that one up to the wonders of the human anatomy. Ever hear that urban legend about how a person’s bowels go slack when they die, causing them to expel any feces they have left and shit their pants? Well, that’s what happened to me. Except with sperm.

Tagged : orci, lectus, varius, turpis