What if my computer has a virus?
The name ‘iPad’ has certain connotations for women… just, please don’t ask us to explain how it works.
Price: £129.95 | Category Lifestyle Toys, JimmyJane
This marvel of design is waterproof to a depth of about 10 times your bathtub’s, and is barely audible at arm’s length. The metal is easy to clean, and is safe for your body. It also holds temperature, so it can be heated up or cooled down… Whatever you fancy.
Quiet, Waterproof, Everlasting Vibrator. Available in a variety ofg colours.
Read MoreThe name ‘iPad’ has certain connotations for women… just, please don’t ask us to explain how it works.
As to why I’m wearing a blonde wig, mascara, a whole bunch of lipstick, leather chaps, high heels, a diamond necklace, high school class rings on every finger, a pink feather boa, painted toenails, a tiara and two large black dildos stuck firmly in my anal cavity? That’s just me being eccentric. If Crispin Glover can get away with it, why can’t I?
Oh, one more thing. You’ve probably noticed by now that I’ve (probably) ejaculated all over the ground. (If you haven’t noticed that yet, watch your step!) Well, let’s just chalk that one up to the wonders…