1.  Men are like.. Laxatives: They irritate the crap out of you.
2.  Men are like.. Bananas: The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.  Men are like.. Weather: Nothing can be done to change them.
4.  Men are like.. Blenders: You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
5.  Men are like.. Chocolate: Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.  Men are like.. Commercials: You can’t believe a word they say.
7.  Men are like.. Department Stores: Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.  Men are like.. Government Bonds: They take soooooooo long to mature.
9.  Men are like.. Mascara: They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like.. Popcorn: They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like.. Snowstorms: You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like.. Lava Lamps: Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like.. Parking Spots: All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

They should be careful wearing those high heels in the bathhouse like that - it can all get very slippery when wet.

Just a bit of fun!

If you’ve ever wondered whether Lily has a sadistic streak - well, here’s the proof!

Unfortunately, the site sadolily.com is “now closed” - love the image though.

I’ve been having some discussion recently on a favourite forum of mine, Aphroditewomenshealth.com, about peeing in an exposed manner in front of your partner and it started an interesting debate.

Some, like me, are a bit puzzled as to what it is that is the turn on, and others don’t seem fazed by it at all and understand that such watersports can be great fun.

The good thing is that if you feel the urge to go that one step further and imbibe urine, it’s totally safe because it’s sterile as it leaves the body and can do you no harm if swallowed immediately.  It’s only if it’s left in the air for any length of time that it can become toxic.

My hubby likes to watch me pee; I mean, really watch me pee. Yesterday, I said I was going to take a shower in the middle of the afternoon (it’s damn hot here at the moment) and he came in with me (unusual). He then wanted me to pee in the shower whilst he knelt down and watched.

I’m not embarrassed and I know that there are loads of guys who get a kick out of this - there are lots of websites dedicated to “watersports” but I really don’t understand what the turn-on is for them. I have asked him, and he can’t explain; he says he just finds it erotic.

So, I was wondering if there are any other guys out there who can throw some light on the subject and give me some idea as to the attraction? [read the thread, via Aphroditewomenshealth.com]

I think I’ll have cream with that please.

Looks like they’re both getting their just desserts - lucky people!

“You have a wonderful penis. You are so hard and are bigger than I imagined.”

“You’ve imagined my cock.”

“Yes, I get horny sometimes, Freddie,” she said while stroking me to an even harder erection and staring at my cock.

“I’ve fantasized about jerking you off or fucking you or sucking you.”

“Sucking me? I thought you didn’t do that?”

“Oh, because of what I said to my boss? I’m particular about whose cock I put in my mouth, but I’ve given more than a few blowjobs in my day.”

“Doris, I’m stunned. I can’t believe you’ve fantasized about me. I always thought it was only a guy thing to fantasize about women and not the other way around.”

“Men are such fools. Women fantasize all the time. Why do you think there are so many soap operas on television?” She stared at my cock, again. “I have not felt a young, hard cock in my hand in years. This is thrilling.”

She stroked me and I took another small step forward to cup her tits, first one then the other. I love feeling a woman’s tit while she is playing with my cock and because it was my mother-in-law’s tit in my hand with her hand around my cock it was even more exciting.

My prick was only inches away from her mouth. Hoping she’d take the hint, she took the hint.

“May I put it in my mouth?” [via literotica.com].

The word clittage comes from clit + frottage (rubbing sex organs together). 

Sometimes, a woman can get more pleasure from rubbing her clitoris on some part of her partner’s body, (especially up and down the shaft of an erect penis), than through actual intercourse itself.

Lie on your back and get your female partner to kneel astride you - the woman on top position. Now get her to press her clit into your penis and rub up and down. This is a fairly common move. It’s easy for a woman to get a lot of clit sex pleasure this way. You can use lubrication to increase sensation between clit and penis. Don’t go straight to intercourse. Hang back and let her take her pleasure, for as long as she wants.
The crux of the move is that she controls all movement, speed and pressure. Her bodyweight is pressing down onto her clit and labia, amplifying sensation. She’s in control of every last movement so every move is exactly what she wants. It’s a highly efficient, reliable, pleasure mechanism.

It’s also a common way for women to masturbate, by rubbing the clit on any object - pillow, towel, vibrator, teddy bear. You can try the clit-penis rub in reverse - with the man on top. Have her lie on her back and lift her legs high. You then get on top and rub your penis along her clit and labia. Its nice, but its not as good as when she’s on top, apparently.Also she can rub her clit on your tongue. See oral sex, the woman on top part. [clit - magic sex button].

I can’t believe she’d have the front to ride this pretty monstrous model of a vulva around the city streets.

She looks so miserable about the whole thing really - I’ve no idea what the point of this image is, and I have no idea where it comes from (sent to me by a “virtual” buddy) but whilst I personally think I’de be a bit freaked out if I saw this life-size vagina passing me by on the road, I have to admit it’s pretty well made.

I know I have mine but I’m trying to keep pushing the boundaries to keep my sex life exciting, with some gentle persuasion and sometimes not so gentle coercion.

Those wacky porn stars… is there anything they won’t do? Well yes, actually. Though some adult performers are up for anything, others shy away from things like double anal or even interracial scenes (to say nothing of the more hardcore dirtpipe milkshake). But of the many things that make up the standard porn arsenal, which acts are commonplace and which are, uh, harder to come by? Based on the listings on one adult talent agency’s website, an enterprising blogger has done a bit of research ... and the answers may surprise you. Out of just over 900 porn stars, how many would participate in a solo shoot? Boy/girl? Double vaginal? Actual acting? Answers (with some helpful photo illustrations) after the jump.

. . .

Out of 900 porn stars, the following numbers would do the things listed [read the list here via fleshbot.com].

BARCELONA SEX PROJECT from LUST FILMS on Vimeo.

Barcelona Sex Project is the latest production by LUST FILMS based on an original idea by Erika Lust. A feminist adult movie, created for women by women, the film discloses the private lives and sexuality of six individuals. The project is based on the conviction that women desire to know a person’s inner character (their beliefs, their character, their feelings, fears and passions) before becoming drawn to them on a sexually intimate level. [via Lustfilms.com]

Ever heard of this one?  I hadn’t, until today.

A Spiderman is having sex doggy style, and just before the guy cums, he pulls out and spits on her butt making her believe that he’s cum on there.  In actual fact, he’s craftily cum in his hand then, as she turns her head round to face him, the guy flings the web of cum into her face and shouts “Spiderman!”

Very laddish behaviour and you would need to have a strong relationship or a great sense of humour to accept spunk thrown in your face without copping a strop.

For an alternative way of having spiderman sex - click the link

It’s almost as fun as the Chocolate Bronco.

That’s when you are doing it doggy style and switch holes without warning. Then you grab her hips and try to hold on while she angrily tries to buck you off. [via metamistress.livejournal.com].

Yes, I pee standing up all the time. I have a house of 4 boys & my husband & I was fruatrated with always falling into the toilet when they didn’t put the seat down. Also, it is quicker for me. I learned how on a website. I practiced in the shower. I have a little girl who is 7 yrs old & would like to show her as well. You just have to know your anatomy down there. I love going into public restrooms now & not having to put t.p. down on the seat or squatting in an uncomfortable posistion. I just pull my pants down lean over the bowl a bit & pee. I was out with my girl friends for dinner one night, and we used the bathroom. One of my friends was in the next stall & she heard me peeing & said, “Gee sounds as if you are a guy standing with that stream!” I came out of the stall & told her that I stand & she laughed, thinking I was lying. I had to convince her. After a few months, she was over at my house & brought up the subject again & asked me to show her. She came in the bathroom w/me next time I peed & was amazed. She is now standing too when she pees. It’s great! [via answerbag.com]

How amusing is this!

Two office workers grabbing a feel for each others breasts and discussing the merits/demerits of having implants.

Welcome to BreastImplantSafety.org

BreastImplantSafety.Org is your definitive site for unbiased, science-based information on breast implant options. Written by some of the leading plastic surgeons in the country, our goal is to inform, empower, and provide women with complete implant information so you can work with your physician to make the right choice for you. We encourage you to visit often to review all the various features on breast augmentation, breast reconstruction and revision. We hope to have created a key resource for women who are considering breast implant surgery or already have breast implants and are looking for up-to-date information.

Oh, what a gift to bestow upon your lady.

If you can’t afford the real thing, then I’m sure she’d be more than willing to receive such a gesture.

In the American TV show Sex and the City, Richard Wright gives Samantha a pearl thong as a gift and says “Maybe later if you’re good, I’ll give you pearl necklace to match”. Charlotte comments “My father gave me the most beautiful pearl necklace for my sweet sixteen”, and Samantha clears up: “Actually we’re talking about the other kind of pearl necklace. You know, the kind where the guy decorates your neck?”

Trivial fact - Pearl Necklace is a song by the hairy Texas rock group ZZ Top..

My guy wants to give me a “pearl necklace.” What does it mean, and what do I do?

A pearl necklace refers to the dotlike drops of ejaculate when a man climaxes on your neck and chest after inserting his penis between your breasts. If this sounds like something you’d like to try, you don’t have to do a whole lot. Simply lie on your back (you might want to place a towel under you, as this can get kind of messy) and sensuously rub some lube between your breasts. No doubt your man will go wild watching you caress yourself. Or, you can have him apply the slick stuff. Then, when he places his erect penis between your boobs, push them close together from the outside to create friction as he rubs back and forth until he hits the big O. If you really want to send him over the edge, lick the tip of his penis each time he thrusts toward your mouth. [via Cosmopolitan.com].